Today I start my new, temporary job in Santa Monica, transcribing reality show footage. Huzzah for a paycheck! Anyway, I don’t have time this morning to draw anything, so I’ll have to get to it tonight. Sorry, my adoring fans. I gotta get that cash-money, you know.
June 25, 2009
ME IS CURED!
If you’re in hell, you had better just not hang around Satan. It’s only a matter of time before he explodes you.
June 25, 2009
So I just saw Taken…
I blogged not long ago about the weird shifting around that the Super-Spy genre of filmmaking does. I had a good time writing that, and I don’t feel many people (if any) read it.
Anyway, I went to Hollywood video today with the express decision to buy a used copy of In Bruges (the funniest, most quotable damn movie I’ve seen in years) and Speed Racer (screw your face, I love this movie… and I listen to the score all the time, because it’s great for pretending I’m driving extremely fast… when I’m stuck in a standstill on the 405).
Hollywood Video had one of those “Buy 2, Get 2 Free” sales (sales of which are entirely responsible for half my video collection… seriously… you plan yourself out right, you can get a shit-load of movies for almost nothing… just buy them 3 to 4 months after the fact). And I was there to buy Speed Racer and In Bruges. Period. I was going to buy those regardless, no matter what. So, BAM!, I got two free movies. But I couldn’t find anything else I wanted (I stewed over this decision for maybe an hour). So I settled on two movies I hadn’t seen, but always wanted to. Charlie Wilson’s War (haven’t actually watched it yet… I did Speed Racer and In Bruges first) and Taken, the action movie with Liam Neeson. So I just watched that.
HOT DAMN I loved it! And I wish I had seen it when it first came out so I would have known to include it in my little diatribe about super-spy movies, because it fits right in. It totally exists in a world post-Jason Bourne. You’ve seen this movie a billion times. Super-badass military dad loses daughter to kidnappers. Dad kills the shit out of kidnappers to get kid back.
Hell, Commando is that plot:
God, I love Commando.
A building blows up in Commando nine times. Same building. Theoretically same explosion. But it happens. Nine. Times. Well, 5 times, then it cuts away. Then it blows up 4 more times. I’ve counted.
Anyway… Taken is great. And it shows that to make a good movie, you don’t need to reinvent the wheel. Taken’s plot is pretty average and… eh… boring. It’s not the story it tells more than how it tells it. The fact they chose Liam Neeson for it is inspired. No one else could have sold this movie better.
But I tie it into my post-Jason Bourne spy world because… that’s what it is. They took that same old, tried-and-true plot and recofigured it to the Jason Bourne super-spy mentality. Ten, twenty years from now, it will be redone to fit whatever the hell is going on then.
So yeah. That’s how it fits into my old blog.
Anyway… “THEY’RE FILMING MIDGETS!”
June 24, 2009
Not all werewolves eat people
Some of them just want to play with rubber balls. Seriously. You turn into a dog, what are you going to want to do? Chase things or sniff ass. That’s what dogs do.
That’s not too different than what some of my friends do on Friday nights. BA-ZING! (Get it? Chase things and sniff ass? Yes. This is the comedy part, folks).
June 24, 2009
Gah, comics for the last couple of days.
Where have I been?! Working on DropKick. But, I have been keeping up with Meaningless, even at the expense of any kind of sanity. Take a look:
Saturday June 20, 2009- Here is the aforementioned loss of sanity. It’s a comic. In Spanish. I think that’s the whole joke. Honestly, I made this at like 6 in the morning. Never expect sanity at 6 in the morning.
Sunday June 21, 2009- I kind of like this one. Even if it’s weird.
Monday June 22, 2009- This is a comic that shows, no matter what you’re obsessed with, you bet your butt you’re obsessed with sex more. We’re human. It’s how we work.
Today, Tuesday June 23, 2009- This is alluding to the show The Real World, if you can’t tell. I think it would be hilarious if the television was expressly invented for the bullshit we have filled it with. It wasn’t. The many, many people who invented the television (it’s such a collection of various inventions that requires so many different components, you can’t really say one person invented it), well, they had the best of intentions. Most thought they were paving the way for education, thinking that the television would revolutionize how human beings develop into sophisticated and intelligent adults. That kind of happened. There’s Sesame Street. Then there’s television for adults, which includes a show called Jon and Kate Plus Eight, where we watch a couple spiral into insanity as they try to control eight kids. Well, Jon and Kate, they’re splitting up. People I know, friends, they’re talking about. Like it’s news. There was a damn train collision yesterday, Iran is about to rip itself to shreds, and apparently North Korea is about to attack Hawaii (full disclosure: it’s not), but friends of mine are talking about Jon and Kate. And their damn eight.
WHO. CARES.
“Oh! This family that had too many kids (and was probably going to break apart on its own without the aid of the entire goddamn world watching them) broke apart! I wonder if the fact that the entire goddamn world was watching them had any influence on that?” PROBABLY. IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR WATCHING. I HOPE YOU CRY ABOUT IT, YOU DICK.
June 19, 2009
Yep, tis’ a beauty of a mornin’
Seriously, farmers pretty much are all kinds of into Crystal Meth.
In a totally unrelated note, do not eat seven or more Altoids mints at a time. You will feel sick as hell. At least, I do right now. Because I did. And I don’t recommend it.
June 18, 2009
Their time will come…
I don’t have much to say today, but I just wanted to say that this may be my favorite comic in a long, long time.
June 17, 2009
One more thought about Tim Curry…
… he’s awesome.
Thought I’d just share that, officially turning my blog into some kind of creepy Tim Curry-obsessed fan site.
June 17, 2009
Ghosting
Yes, Meaningless ghosts look like sperm. This fact is not lost on me. I can’t really help it, since ghosts never seem to have legs and are wavy. Meaningless characters with no legs and looking all wavy look like sperm. I thought about making that the joke of this comic, but I figured it was too self-referencing.
I got the gumption to do a comic on ghosts today because I recently rented this:
I’ve been playing it non-stop. The gameplay is good, but not great. However, the fact that they got all the original Ghostbusters cast to be in it, that they got all the original music, that they got Dan Ackroyd and Harold Ramis to write it, and that it’s insanely faithful to the whole world of Ghostbusters is truly an accomplishment all to itself. Weirdly enough, the game is pretty damn difficult, as the controls are pretty weird. It’s like an action game mixed with fishing. The fishing comes into play when you have to wrangle ghosts over to the ghost-trap you toss out. It’s odd, but different and definitely fresh, considering this game is basically Gears of War with ghosts (and no cover-mechanic).
What’s truly great about it is the writing. Ackroyd and Ramis bring actual professionalism and sharp skill to the plate, and it’s truly amazing to me how low the bar is for the quality in video game writing. I mean, Ghostbusters the game is very well written, but seriously, this game feels like Shakespeare compared to most of the shlock you see rolling around out there. I think mostly because it understands its world, has characters (video games NEVER have well-written characters), and a sense of humor. Most video games take themselves so seriously that they just annoy the crap out of me. Assassin’s Creed literally makes me weep tears with how DEAD SERIOUS it takes its ridiculous and over-blown narrative. Like the developers thought that their idea was so cool, it would have been a damn great idea to have characters talk for hours to explore the intricate and “deep” exposition.
Look, quantity is never a substitute for quality. Having characters talk for ten minutes in a video game does not qualify as “good writing”. In Ghostbusters, having Bill Murray say a single line of dialog explaining a ghost I have to snare in a witty and funny way tells me more about his character, what I have to do as a player, and the story than a 20 minute diatribe about existentialism and what it means to be a Ghostbuster ever could.
Less is more, and Ghostbusters pretty much nails that concept perfectly.
That said, I am kind of worried how this video game is giving birth to the Ghostbusters 3 movie. I think it’s great to explore the Ghostbusters world twenty years later in the form of a video game, but seriously, I not sure what a new movie would bring to the plate. The video game takes place in 1991, and lets you explore the world created in the first two movies (you fight the Stay Puff Marshmellow Man very early in the game, for example). A movie, taking place now, with the aging original cast… that doesn’t interest me as much.
The time to capitalize on the Ghostbusters movie franchise was a good idea in the late 80’s. But the second Ghostbusters movie screwed that up pretty damn bad (I personally can’t stand it, but I have friends who tolerate it or even love it… not sure why… it’s maybe the worst written sequel I’ve ever seen, and I felt that was when I was a kid even).
We’ll see I guess. As long as Bill Murray and Ernie Hudson are in it, I’m good with it. Ernie Hudson, by the way, is the secret weapon of the Ghostbusters franchise. I can’t get enough of him. Especially in Congo:
Congo also has Tim Curry, as that clip shows. Tim Curry elevates any film to Citizen Kane levels for me.
June 16, 2009
Tricky Shark Bastards
Today’s comic now features a trend I started in a comic from a few weeks ago. I love fishing, and have my whole life. I find a lot of humor in the idea of fishing, namely that you are catching small creatures and then releasing them. Imagine that happening to you. You go to grab a bit of pizza from a local place near your work, you walk up to the register, you order a pizza, it comes to you, you bite it, then BAM, you’re suddenly on an alien planet with strange giants looking at you and holding you up by your mouth. They laugh in alien language and drink beer and take pictures with you with strange alien cameras. Then they toss you in the air and, WHACK, you’re back in that pizza restaurant.
And tomorrow, you go back to that pizza restaurant. Because the pizza is that damn good.
Oh yeah, I forgot to blog about the past few comics. They be:
Saturday June 13, 2009- I was house-sitting last week in Venice Beach, and I had to walk dogs a lot. And, man, there are some strange people who live in Venice, California. So strange, that this sight might not totally be out of place.
Sunday June 14, 2009- Here’s a comic where I get political. I always regret when I get political with my comics (it’s why I run a comic called “Meaningless” in the first place. But I couldn’t resist a chance to take a pot-shot at Iran. That place is silly.
Monday June 15, 2009- FRANK AND GREG!
