As I’ve kept this game going for a while now, I’ve realized that new people show up around here from time to time. They either find my blog or Meaningless and are all like, “What the deuce is this garbage?”
Well, kind sir, Meaningless is my webcomic, and it’s been going since March of 2008. Who I am is not important (and you can read about me here, though I’m not sure why you would want to).
I draw this sucker every weekday morning, about five minutes after I wake up. As a result, I draw it like an infant (truth be told, that’s about the limit of my drawing ability). The comic is random and non-sequitur in nature, meaning you don’t need to know much about it to get the jokes. There usually are no “jokes” anyway. The punchlines are typically nonsensical. That’s why it’s called Meaningless. You tard.
Even so, as the strip has gone on and on, certain characters have begun to appear. There’s usually not much to know about them, but if you find yourself confused, checking these out might help you:
Recurring Meaningless Characters
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Jimmy
Jimmy is a 6th grade kid who is having trouble in school. He writes reports that his teachers frequently fail him on, and he’s no stranger to the principle’s office. Like most twelve year-olds, Jimmy has a curious and naive look at the world. He’s constantly asking questions and listening to the advice of others. He should learn to stop doing that.
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Mr. Tree
Mr. Tree is Jimmy’s only friend. Mr. Tree, as his name implies, is a freaking tree. While it could be debated whether or not Mr. Tree is capable of rational thought and can actually talk or if he is merely a fabrication of Jimmy’s over-active imagination, Mr. Tree would probably interupt and tell you to “shut the f___ up” and mind your own business. A boozer and a womanizer, Mr. Tree represents the opposite of Jimmy’s innocent and peaceful nature. He typically gets Jimmy into trouble, but is always an open ear to any problem Jimmy might have, mostly so he can ridicule Jimmy about it later.
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The Three Musketeers
Creations of the very-dead Alexandre Dumas, the Three Musketeers are agents for the King of France. The exact time period that these particular Three Musketeers belong to is questionable, as they appear to shift through the ages, appearing in their respected 17th century and up to modern day. They’re typically bored and feed on adventure, no matter the form adventure takes, even if it’s egg-ing houses or stabbing criminals.
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Astronauts Frank and Greg
Greg is a hard-working astronaut who takes his job pretty seriously, fixing satellites and doing scientific research. Frank spends his time thinking up pranks, looking at porn, and wrecking the space shuttle into asteroids. No one’s quite sure how Frank made it past training. Not even Frank.
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The Space Pope
The Space Pope appears as mysteriously as he vanishes. His motives and his origins remain an enigma. One thing is for certain… he has horrible timing.
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Squid
Squid, as defined by Wikipedia:
Marine cephalopods of the order Teuthida, which comprises around 300 species. Like all other cephalopods, squid have a distinct head, bilateral symmetry, a mantle, and arms. Squid, like cuttlefish, have eight arms and two tentacles arranged in pairs.
Squid as defined by me:
Large, man eating monsters that appear out of nowhere and attack without reason. When not causing problems for mankind, they’re typically trying to mate with each other. Violently.
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The Chinese-Speaking Rabbit
The Chinese-Speaking Rabbit is not real. It is a product of the imagination, usually brought on by drugs. Despite giving the impression of being wise and caring, it actually doesn’t care about you or your problems. Mostly because it doesn’t exist. Stop taking drugs.
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The “Creatures”
No one is quite sure what they are. They appear out of nowhere wearing very fake people-masks and can barely speak English. Whatever their overall plan or agenda is, they never seem to make any progress with it. Whatever it is that they’re doing here, they’re really bad at it.
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LB-177
LB-177 is a robot. “LB” stands for Love Bot. “177″ is a randomly assigned serial number. LB-177 may or may not be capable of actual human love. LB-177 can, however, fire a death ray out of its single, cycloptic eye.
